IC Contact

[hotredhero]

You have reached the voice mail box of Tony Stark. Leave a message with JARVIS and someone will get back to you. Make it a nice one, and it'll probably be me.

Comments

[text]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

hey stark

whatre you wearin

[voice]

[hotredhero]

What? [What?]

Jeans. You aren't picturing me naked, are you?

[text] > [voice]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

No.

[beat]

Maybe.

[beat]

Okay, yeah.

[voice]

[hotredhero]

[Can you hear the eyebrow being raised?]

Right. Good to know that about you, Joker. We share so little outside of heavy metal objects and firepower.

Been getting a head start on some parties?

[voice]

[pluggedintheoverlord]

[Yup. He just gives no fucks.]

What can I say, I'm a giver.

[Occasionally what he gives is too much information.]

Yeah, it's a real private party. I was the only one with an invite.

[AUDIO]

[calibrating]

Tony, when you get this, call me back ASAP.

Shepard's working the pirates groundside and needs all the help he can get.

video;

[hotredhero]

[Good thing JARVIS is tracking everything for him.]

You mean alone? Whose idea was that?

Re: video;

[calibrating]

His.

If we weren't facing an infinite supply of enemies, I'd say he could do it, too. But he needs help.

Also, hi.

Re: video;

[hotredhero]

Well, that's a stupid plan. Don't you guys have back up?

They've been pretty much swarming in waves ever since they hit. Going alone is a bad idea.

[There's an extended pause here.]

Hi.

Re: video;

[calibrating]

You don't give Shepard enough credit. Also, in case you haven't noticed, but we're a little short staffed here.

[Ugh ugh talking to Tony right now is raising his blood pressure. BUT but they both know the reason why, and it's a subject that needs to be broached]

[The timing could be way better, but Garrus understands the role interpersonal relations can have when it comes to teamwork, and with a mission as important as this... well...]

[Garrus sighs, keeping his voice in check with a sincere sobriety]

Look, uh, all that aside, I owe you an apology.

Gift in the mailbox

[futureprofessor]

[Maybe not many people have seen Bianca's post to the network a few weeks ago - pirate attack and all.

But see, when she said she'd buy Valentine chocolates for everyone after the mess passed as a thank you gift, she totally meant it.

So here it is, a small but pretty box with a card that sappily talks about refugees sticking together and congratulating them on a good job done.

Happy (late) Valentine's day, friend of Bianca's!]

[TEXT]

[calibrating]

Stark,

Haven't had a good hand to hand drill in a while. So. You, me, sparring in the Normandy hangar. Nothing to do with suits, just want to see how much shaping up you need. You can even set a date. I'm free whenever.

- G

[TEXT]

[hotredhero]

You want to see if I need teaching or do you just like looking into my eyes?

I'll check my schedule. Might be free later this week. G.

- Tony. It's Tony.

[TEXT]

[calibrating]

Definitely the first one.

Sounds good. Give me a date when you can, Stark.

[TEXT]

[hotredhero]

Yeah, ok.

Sure, just stop calling me "Stark".

[TEXT]

[calibrating]

But it's so much more fun than 'Tony'.

[Voicemail?]

[thepurpleway]

Ah, Mister...um...Iron Man? [A pause, then he begins to talk mostly to himself.]

Well, everyone knows he's Tony Stark...

Anyway, a friend of mine, his name is Pegasus, says you're pretty good with technology. So...how good are you with androids? I'm just curious.

Have a pleasant day! Oh! This is Gakupo, by the way! The one with the purple hair!

[Audio]

[hotredhero]

What kind of androids?

[As soon as he gets connected, he's immediately at the question. No hellos or anything here. Also, he's had a bad couple weeks so he's grouchy, but work is always good to have.

"Mr. Iron Man" didn't hurt his case either.]

I'm good with everything. It depends on what you want done.

[Audio]

[thepurpleway]

Singing androids.

[He asked...]

I don't want anything done, but I thought that I should find someone who's adept with up-keeping someone like myself.

[Audio]

[hotredhero]

Upkeep. So I'm guessing the local QuikStop is out of coupons.

[Rimshot?]

Sure, I've got the know-how if you're looking for someone to run diagnostics and maintenance. I'm the best you'll find on the ship if you're willing to pay for it.

[Audio]

[thepurpleway]

Ah...what's a QuikStop? [That goes right over his head...]

How much would something like that cost?

[action] THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMATE DESTINY

[pluggedintheoverlord]

[The Normandy was back in dock on the Thor, now full of weird alien refugees and an exhausted, motley crew that was down one member. All in all, it could have been a lot worse, considering that they had just been in the middle of a full-blown reaper invasion, but when that one casualty was Garrus, it was a hell of a loss.]

[It didn't help that the loss was preventable. Garrus should be alive right now, getting patched up in the med bay or bitching about calibrations. Instead, he was gone, and they didn't even have his corpse to give him some kind of proper send-off. Not that it would've been a normal funeral anyway, considering that the body was stuffed full of reaper tech.]

[It was fucking insulting, doing that to him.]

[The real targets were well out of their reach now, though, and there wouldn't have been anything Joker could've done to them anyway. But there was a convenient place to shift blame-- and his impotent anger-- onto: Tony Stark.]

[So now that the ship was safe and the freeloaders were disembarking, Joker was going to give Stark a hell of a piece of his mind.]

[action] GOOD GUYS BAD GUYS AND EXPLOSIONS

[hotredhero]

[They were lucky to get back with what they had.

That was something Tony was repeating to himself since they managed to reach the Thor. They could have been in worse shape. A lot worse. But that didn't make him feel any better about being back. Not when they lost Garrus to those... things.

He wasn't taking it much better than any of the Normandy crew themselves were. Really, there had to have been another way. Except there hadn't been, and that just pissed him off. No answer, no resolution, no closure to even pretend it was fixable.

Tony was in the hangar, fixing something he could repair: his battle worn suit. At least that made him feel a little bit better. He stood when he heard Joker coming, his posture straight to meet the inevitable conflict that he knew was coming. He'd have to be an idiot not to see it. And that was one thing Tony wasn't.]

Something you needed, Moreau? I'm guessing you didn't come by to borrow a cup of sugar.

AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE

[pluggedintheoverlord]

[Bullshit to luck. They could have gotten back with all hands. They'd gone into worse situations and extracted everyone successfully; hell, they'd brought Garrus back from getting shot in the face with a rocket. You needed a nuclear-level fuckup to take down Vakarian.]

[And for a guy that hated weapons, Stark had sure delivered on that nuke.]

Yeah, there is something I need from you, Stark. I need a real damn good explanation as to why you ran off to play hero while Garrus got his ass handed to him.

AND ONLY ONE WILL SURVIVE

[hotredhero]

[He can see the pushback coming in Joker's eyes before it actually comes from his mouth. Tony knows. He's been avoiding the Normandy more or less after they docked, trying to let the whole disaster settle. But it was going to come to this.

He does deserve it. But that doesn't mean he's going to take it quietly.]

I told him I had it covered. I didn't make him send anyone after me. You hear me calling for help? Those people were in trouble and I was in the air. I was responding to an attack on innocent people. I don't know if you know this, but that's kind of what we do back on Earth.